Why Most Workout Plans Fail (And What People Who Stay Fit Do Differently)

A training program is probably the most boring thing you will ever do in your life. It isn't even supposed to be fun. And here's the part nobody says out loud: most workout plans don't fail at the gym. If you actually followed the plan, it would probably work.

So why do you stop going? You start out so strong. Matching shaker, new sneakers, you're vibing. Then one day you look up and it's been 37 days, and your gym bag is buried under a pile of stuff by the door.

The problem isn't the training program. The problem is that you don't know how to coach yourself.

So let's break it down. There's a lot that's wrong, and we can make every piece of it right.

Your plan is built for a perfect week

The program you have was probably built for your ideal week. Not for the week where you're dangling off a cliff by your pinky finger. Not for the week where you're sick and everything is going wrong.

When you're hanging off that cliff, a perfect-week plan won't hold you up. It does the opposite: it demotivates you. You feel like a failure, you feel like someone who doesn't show up, and the plan ends up working against the very thing you wanted.

Picture two conveyor belts, like the lifts on a ski hill. One carries you up. One carries you down. Upward spiral, downward spiral: welcome to life. The right plan is the belt that pulls you up the hill even on the days you have nothing left.

When you've had time in the game, you can see which belt is which. It just makes sense. When you're new, you're tangled up with everyone else, tripping over skis, staring at your feet, and you can't even see the belt that would carry you. If you've ever fallen while learning to ski, you know how humbling that is. That's why the plan has to work when everything is going haywire, so you can lead yourself back out of the mess and onto the right belt.

Too much, too fast

The next mistake: wanting everything at the beginning. (A moment of silence for every time I did this too.) We want to be great right away. We want the heavy dumbbells on day one.

Then you realize those things can hurt you, and that this calls for humility. You wouldn't learn to swim by jumping off the deep end and waiting for the lifeguard to throw you the ring. When it's physical, we can see it. The trouble with training is that the problem is invisible: a force field keeping you out of the gym and away from the body you want.

I don't think of myself as a genius. I want the simple principles, because once the principles are figured out, everything else is noise. And the principle here is this: the plan is bigger than the habit. Start smaller, then work your way up. Nothing at the beginning should be impressive. It should probably be boring, because boring is what actually works.

The research agrees that habits take patience. In one well-known study, it took people a median of 66 days for a new daily behaviour to feel automatic, with a huge range from person to person, and missing a single day didn't wreck the habit. (Lally et al., European Journal of Social Psychology, 2010) Small and steady is the point.

Stop deciding, start doing

I say this with love (I should come with a disclaimer on my forehead): a lot of you spend more energy deciding what to do than actually doing it.

Take all the time and effort you put into weighing options, pick one thing, and do it. See if it works. You'd save so much time and be so much further ahead. Decide, then move as fast as you can. You'll figure it out along the way. The more you try, the more you find out. Stay in your head, and you just stay stuck.

The people around you

You're going to hate this one. I'm not here to blame anyone. But sometimes it really does come down to the people around you.

You are not a newborn. You don't need to be strapped to everyone who's going to disapprove of the new life you're building and the challenges you're setting for yourself. Their criticism and their judgment can stay with them. If they need to talk about you, they can have their little meetings and keep it amongst themselves. It doesn't get to live in your head.

I think everyone should move out of their hometown at least once, even if they end up going back. Not to run away, but to learn that you can stand on your own.

Time and money

Here's how I see time: the busier you are, the more valuable you are, and the more this matters. If you're thinking, “I don't have time to learn all of this on my own,” that's exactly the reason to have it set up for you.

And if you're on the other side, “I have the time, I'm ready to commit,” then stop reading about it and start. You need far less than you think. Start with one thing. One program. Keep it, and you'll feel that excitement every single day. If you can keep that excitement, you never have to renew your love for it. It just stays new.

The sun and the water

Honestly? Unless you're going to be a pro athlete, you don't need pro-level coaching. I've been doing this for ten years. I could probably prep for a competition within a year if I wanted to, and I don't. I'm a normal person. I just want to look good. I'm not complicated, and it doesn't have to be complicated for you either.

So think of yourself as a plant. A plant needs two things: sunlight and water.

The program is the sun. We set it up once. I teach you everything you need to know, because coaching yourself isn't as hard as it looks. Be your own coach. Don't depend on anyone. Have your autonomy. That's the best thing you can have.

The water is your mindset. It's what you take in every day, and it always has to be fresh. That's where your daily time and energy go: the self-talk, the energy work, the sleep affirmations. All the “woo” stuff people roll their eyes at.

You think the self-talk doesn't work? It's working right now. Just in the wrong direction.

If you're telling yourself “I hate my life” every day, look at what it's growing. It's working, the opposite way. So let's turn you around and point you the right way.

You work, it works

This is simple. You work, it works. You don't work, it doesn't. There aren't many guarantees in life, and I've looked for them, but I found this one.

You don't have to start by investing money. You do have to invest care. They say to guard your heart, because everything you do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23). I need your heart. A little of your time, a little of your attention, and your creativity and your power. That's all.

If you're tired of starting strong and fading by week three, the best time to stop guessing is now, while you still remember why you wanted this.